I could never make a living as a blogger. I love to write but I have those times when the last thing I want to do is write something that is to exist somewhere as long as the blogsphere exists. I have been dwelling in one of those times for the last few weeks.
I am remembering a year of life. A year I did not count on. A year in which I had to learn to live with my new handicaps (or physical challenges-I prefer). It has been a year of learning to accept pain not let it control my life. I have learned that I still feel a strong sense of justice and concern for the least of these in our commercial, death-ignoring culture. I have learned that my love for God and the great mysteries that are contained in those words, “love for God,” contain and reveal to those who are willing to prepare to wait for the groom.
There is not much demand for spiritual directors. I am still visiting a new found friend with Alzheimer’s. I am available to a directee seeking spiritual direction certification. Mostly I am waiting, praying, working, and listening. I am waiting for the groom.
Part of waiting for the groom is understanding one faces changes while one seeks and waits. We must have our oil (interpretation is pretty open as to what the oil for the lamps represents in the parable of the foolish bridesmaids, but it is worth thinking about), we must be prepared. First and foremost, along with our prayers we need to seek to discern God’s desire for our choices. The rules of St. Ignatius are a wonderful assistant in such an endeavor. Waiting involves anticipation. We have made the choice to believe Jesus will come for us. We are invited to the wedding. There is a place at the table for us.
Instead of worrying about conspiracy theories, find purpose in experience the love from which we were created. Find God in giving oneself. Trust God who is grace to provide you the strength to hope and to help us with and unbelief that seeks to confuse our minds. Understand that faith is never certain. If one is certain one does not need faith. The time the groom comes is not certain, but we can trust that the groom will come when it is time.