Discussing Death

But there can be no question that Kubler-Ross and the movement she helped to start rejected the reduction of dying to a medical event and initiated nonmedical conversations about death. The very fact that her list of the five “stages” of dying (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) became part of popular culture is evidence of the impact she and the movement had.[1]I missed out on the five stages of grief that Kuibler-Ross defined with death. My initial death was cause by an impulse that was wrapped in depression, dejections, and despair. In a fit of insanity and foolishness my life came to an end as I bled out on my front porch. I remember floating over my body as the EMTs tried to both stop the bleeding and to restart my heart. Then suddenly I was in a place of evaluation (judgement). I knew I deserved hell. Yet, this was not what God had planned. It was not time for me to die. I was allowed to come back (and yes, there are times I wish I would have stayed dead but God ways are not my ways even though I wish they were).

How do I make sense of all this? Perhaps the following quote can express my feelings adequately, “I am a Christian. I know of no other way to talk faithfully about the Mystery at the heart of our world than as a Christian. I know of no other way faithfully to make sense of these senses than as a Christian. Of course, it is easy to be presumptuous here, easy to claim to know too much. Even so, as a Christian, I dare to claim that all our responses to Mystery are in fact responses to the God whose story is told in Scripture.[2]

Now, I wait with experiential expectation. I also have a much deeper appreciation for life. I find joy in seeing “baby bumps” as I know it represents another soul who can chose to love God. I enjoy relationships more and things less since my encounter with eternity. I know God is there waiting for me. So, for know I can say with Paul for me to live is Jesus to die is gain.


[1] Allen Verhey. The Christian Art of Dying: Learning from Jesus (Kindle Locations 635-637). Kindle Edition.

[2] Ibid. (Kindle Locations 840-843). Kindle Edition.